I may have been a bit... what's the word... Putting something or using something that would better of been used later on?
Hasty?
Is that what I'm thinking of?
Whatever...
I may have been a bit hasty in naming the last post nightmares.
It would probably be more accurately called dreams or something else entirely. This post far more deserves the title nightmares. I don't think I can consider this proof of Jack's threat, but I seem to have definitely gotten the attention of one of The Fears.
Last night I started having another set of weird symbolic, possibly prophetic dreams. The only one I remember was a brief glimpse of the clock faced me facing off against that same faceless man marked by the red hand that stabbed Lisa. Immediately after that an effect occurred in my dreams. You know in movies when like the film reel seems to burn up and the scene just slowly falls apart, blurring around large blank holes appearing in it? Yeah that happened and then I was strapped into a chair. From the pain in my body it seemed to be one of those old torture chairs. The ones with spikes on the arm rest and on the seat and leg rests and pretty much just anywhere where your body touched the chair. I could feel pain all over my body as the spikes sank into my skin. A voice was speaking in rich lyrical tones as I struggled to free myself from the chair to no avail and simply causing the pain to worsen.
"Apologies my dear, can't have you seeing what's to come. That wouldn't be fair so I'll be occupying your nights from now on," the voice spoke and then a hand grabbed my head from behind and tipped it back in a way that probably would have broken my neck in the real world... also come to think of it probably should have pulled my head through the back of the chair...
There was a creature standing behind me. It looked like a furry humanoid creature with bat like wings. It's hands were clawed and blood seemed to drip from the clawed hand clutching my face. It was only after the pain settled in that I noticed it's hand wasn't bleeding, its claws were stabbing into my face. I screamed and thrashed and then all the pain disappeared and I was sitting in a metal fold out chair. A small pool of blood formed beneath the chair dripping out from the wounds that remained on my body despite the cessation of pain.
"There is so much fun we can have in your sleep. I could simply continue hurting you or I could show you our visions of your future. Would you like that? Oh I know let me show you the end we have planned for you,"
I was again in a different place. I was strapped now to a new chair... Well actually an old chair.
It was the chair The archive put me in that allowed them to measure my brain or whatever and confirm my dreams. I wasn't strapped down then, but I was now. It was also a different room. The one the archive had had been clinical, but had felt still like a safe place. This one seemed like a room in an insane asylum that had been out of order for years after the patients had rioted and killed all the abusive staff. The walls were stained and grey and above all old. There was a rusty metal door that swung open admitting an elderly man. I knew him immediately on sight.It was the fear known as The Blind Man. Now I should probably state that while probably even at the time I knew it was all a dream there was definitely a part of myself that didn't grasp that. All the pain I had been feeling and everything that was happening to me felt real and for the most part I believed was real. I was terrified, I thought I was dying. Really if you've had a nightmare and remembered the feeling you felt when you didn't realize it was a nightmare that's how all this felt.
So, The Blind Man entered and I began to panic and scream and beg him not to kill me. The other voice spoke in my head at this point. "Don't worry we won't kill you, We don't have any reason to want you dead. It's so much more fun to keep you alive and torture you continuously," it said and then The Blind Man moved behind me and his bone thin, wrinkled hands grabbed my head. There was a sudden dull throbbing in my head that made me gnash my teeth and squirm and then things began to appear in front of me. Places, events, people. All things from my life. My friends, my home, my history... and then one by one it vanished. I could feel my memories being erased. I couldn't remember them once they vanished, but I could feel their loss. I could feel them missing. Tears streamed from my eyes even as I forgot why I was crying. Soon I began to forget things I had learned and eventually I slumped in the chair my mind completely cleared of every memory, but how to breath and the other things necessary to continue living.
Again I feel the need to explain. Obviously if my memories were erased until I was essentially a blank slate how do I know any of this. Well because it was a nightmare none of it really happened and so while in one sense I felt and knew my memories were being erased there was another part of me that knew it was all fake and still had all my memories. It was like there were two of me. One in the chair and the other watching what was happening to the other me.
I was left alone then in the room. Just sitting in the chair not caring, or feeling until night fell and I slowly drifted into sleep. At which point I had like a dream within a dream which I guess is possible when The Grotesque does it? I had a dream wherein I relived my entire life rebuilding all the memories taken from me right up until the moment they were taken from me. I woke up with my memories restored and with the full knowledge of what was about to happen. The Blind Man was back and having my memories erased and my mind reduced to a vegetable was much worse the second time because I knew it would happen and I also knew it was going to happen again and again.
It was here I woke up for real. I remained lying there crying and fearful and my entire body hurt where the spikes had stuck into me and where The Grotesque's claws has stabbed into my face. There were no physical injuries though. I told Lisa about it and her attempts to comfort me where useful, but I feel terrible now still... I don't want to go back to sleep, but I know what happens if you try to remain awake.
I started writing this around 6:00 PM and had to stop and cuddle with Lisa quite a few times while attempting to write it. It's 9:00 PM here now...
I'm gonna have to go to sleep soon...
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