My Love

When I say my love I realize people might not quite understand what I mean. So, allow me to clarify. I mean my love as in my romantic companion. Though not sexual companion. Neither she nor I have any desire for sexual contact. I believe the term is asexual.

I've pretty much just always been that way. She apparently was "Normal", as some would call it, in the past, but many aspects of her were... essentially torn from her when she... er died. Among them her sex drive, her sense of humour and large swathes of her memory. In fact the only memory she has really clearly are her death and her interactions with a part of The Darkness called The Rake and a man she calls Ladua.

Anyway so about her. She told me to just call her by her real name since everyone including the people she knew in real life with very few exceptions know her by a fake name. So her name is Catherine Higgins. Her story is complicated and with her loss of memory kind of confusing. I've never had a dream that involved her. I found her completely by accident.

Basically though for a while she was a part of The Darkness. Not like a servant exactly, but like part of one of the creatures. An entity of The Darkness. She had chosen this way to survive as it was that or be killed by The Rake whom she fears greatly and still has nightmares about on occasion. Anyway so she became part of The Darkness, but she tried to save people. Tried to use her knowledge to keep people alive. It didn't work and ended up getting her killed. She was freed from the creature only to be stabbed to death. However something happened. The knife used to stab her was magical and instead of actually killing her like it was supposed to it instead just killed the parts of her that had been one with the darkness. Essentially purifying her of The Darkness, but also severely damaging her as much of her had been subsumed by it.

When she awoke she had no memory had been unceremoniously dumped in a back alley and the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was me. The alley she had been dumped in was conveniently behind The Ordeal Headquarters and we were on our way back from a meeting with The Archive when we found her. We took her in and took care of her for a while until she was better. She moved out a month or so after we found her and got herself her own place, never really told me how, but I know better than to ask. We continued seeing each other and talking about our various problems. Her telling me her story from what she could remember and me telling her mine and about my dreams. Eventually it became a friendship and then more.

Now we still see each other whenever we're not busy. She got a job doing something. She told me not to ask and I respect her privacy. I trust it's nothing that will be a danger to me or The Ordeal so I don't need to worry.

The Ordeal don't exactly trust her, but they also don't know her story and probably never will. It won't matter much longer. As I said when The Darkness comes I'll be leaving them.